There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
