what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
