So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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