He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
