I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Dear god my vagina.
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