sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
