when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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