He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
