is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
