I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
