This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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