I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
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