im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
