i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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