Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
