There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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