I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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