If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
