Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
