i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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