How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
