why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize