Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
