He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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