Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
you never un-have a 4some
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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