You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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