If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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