I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
