I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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