i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
