My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
