So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
