so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
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