haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
