Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
