Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Randomize
