i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
