you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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