you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
