why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
