Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Found the puke drawer
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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