? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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