Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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