Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize