So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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