I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
