I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
