Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
