Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
