Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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