barbara walters just said penis...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
