if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
