i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize