We won't sleep together?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Send help, water and tortillas.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
