don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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