We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize