I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
