So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
