On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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