I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
As shirtless as possible
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
