does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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