Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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