You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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