Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
