this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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