My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
