Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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