If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Found your dick twin last night
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
