someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
