Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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