i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
