how can u be prego again
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
