This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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