She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
