Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
